


Polishing The Silver and Calling It Gold

by HighlyOpinionatedNerd



Category: Gintama
Genre: Enjoy!, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but there is serious injury and subsequent recovery, if you want anything else tagged all you have to do is ask, my favorite Found Families Trope strikes again, the Yorozuya collectively adopt Hijikata: the fic, there's no death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-04 20:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15849171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighlyOpinionatedNerd/pseuds/HighlyOpinionatedNerd
Summary: After Gintoki sustains serious injuries and is confined to the hospital, it somehow falls to Hijikata to watch over Shinpachi and Kagura. And by the time Gintoki is well enough to return home, he finds that Hijikata has basically become a member of the family in his absence.





	1. Chapter 1

Hijikata’s hurried steps echoed down the empty hospital hallway. His eyes flickered from doorway to doorway, looking for the room number he’d been given at the front desk.

Finally he found it, at the very end of the hall. Hastily he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

“Holy shit…”

It was worse than he’d thought it’d be. Gintoki lay there, covered in bandages, some of which had an unsettling amount of blood on them. His hair was matted with blood and dirt, and half his face was hidden in gauze. Hijikata had seen corpses in better shape.

“Hijikata-san.”

Shinpachi and Kagura were both there, sitting in two of the small, uncomfortable hospital chairs by the bedside.

“Hey,” Hijikata said, finally remembering to close the door behind him and moving further into the room. “Hey, are you two alright?”

“We’re fine.”

“What the hell happened?”

“...Not telling,” Kagura muttered, not looking at him. Her eyes were very red. Hijikata assumed she’d been crying.

“What?”

“We can’t tell you, Hijikata-san,” Shinpachi said firmly.

Hijikata sighed. “It’s something illegal, isn’t it,” he guessed.

“...Yeah.”

“No, it’s alright. I get it.” He sat down in one of the uncomfortable chairs across from the kids. “I get it. But I need to know what happened, so we can make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else. You won’t get in trouble, I promise.”

“No, we _really_ can’t tell you, Hijikata-san. Sorry.”

Hijikata frowned. Gintoki was one of the strongest people he knew, and he didn’t like the idea of letting whatever could hurt him this bad go unchecked. But he knew they would never agree to tell him. Better to just drop the matter and save them all the trouble. He’d just have to find out on his own.

“Alright, fine, be that way. Have the doctors said anything?”

Kagura nodded, clearly holding back more tears. “He’s in a coma,” she choked out, hugging an arm tightly around herself.

Hijikata stared. “A _coma_?”

“Yes.” Shinpachi’s voice was trembling. “They said...they said they don’t know when he’ll wake up.”

“Shit,” Hijikata cursed under his breath. “Shit, this is so much worse than I thought.”

“He’ll be ok, won’t he?”

Kagura was visibly trembling, looking at him with watery eyes and clutching Gintoki’s hand as if both their lives depended on it. Shinpachi looked small and scared, hunched over in his chair, eyes darting back and forth between Gintoki and Kagura.

Hijikata found himself painfully reminded of the last time he’d set foot in one of these hospital rooms.

“Everything will be alright,” he said. “He’ll definitely wake up. He’s strong. You guys can’t give up on him, ok?”

Shinpachi nodded mutely, reaching out and putting an arm around Kagura’s shoulders.

“Yes sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

A soft knock at the door made them all look around- a bespectacled man in a white lab coat entered, holding a clipboard.

“Why don’t you two go home and get some rest,” Hijikata said, standing up. “I need to talk to the doctor for a little while.”

“No, we can’t leave! What if he wakes up…?”

“You’ll be the first to know, I promise. But right now you need some sleep. You guys have to keep up your strength at a time like this. You won’t be able to be there for him if you’re sick, right?”

“...Yeah, I guess.”

They reluctantly stood up and started gathering their things. Hijikata hadn’t expected it to be that easy; they must have been even more exhausted than they looked.

“I’ll stop by tomorrow. Be safe on your way back.”

“Yes sir. Thank you, Hijikata-san.”

“You’re welcome.”

The doctor breathed a loud sigh of relief once the door closed behind them. “Thank you, Officer. Such stubborn children...they’ve been here for hours…”

“Tell me about the patient, please. Is it true he’s comatose?”

“Well...I’m afraid so. But we don’t know what’s causing it. It’s one of the strangest cases we’ve ever seen.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that whatever brought on this coma must be either alien or some incredibly advanced bio-weaponry. Maybe both. I’ve got people on it down at the lab but, like I said, we’ve never seen anything like it before. In all honesty, it might kill him. Or it might not, but he might never regain consciousness. There’s no telling right now.”

Hijikata shook his head, trying to process all that. “That’s insane.”

“Tell me about it. The one blood sample we have now is enough to keep dozens of researchers busy for years.”

“You can’t tell the kids. That he might not ever wake up. It’d break their hearts.”

“They have a right to-”

“Please, just trust me on this one. Don’t tell them.”

“...Understood.”

Hijikata sighed again. He felt drained, somehow. It had been a long day, and he now he had to be the one to bring this news back to Kondo and the others. He just wanted to lay down for a bit.

“Do everything you can for him. And call me if you learn anything, or if there’s any change in his condition.”

“Of course, Vice Commander.”

Hijikata looked back at Gintoki, battered and bloody and unconscious on the hospital bed.

“You’d better find a way to live through this, you fucking idiot,” he said quietly. “They need you. You can’t die here. Not yet.”

 

The next day, after his shift was over, Hijikata parked his squad car outside Otose’s Snack Shop and climbed wearily up the stairs to the Yorozuya’s apartment above it. He was tired. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the past night, and he just wanted to home. But he had promised to check in on the Yorozuya kids, and so here he was.

He reached out to knock on the door, but it swung suddenly outwards toward him, nearly hitting him in the face.

“Take care, you two,” Otae called over her shoulder, stepping through the doorway. “Call me right away if you need anything, ok? Ok, bye now.”

She turned back to the front and almost walked into Hijikata before actually noticing him.

“Ah! I’m so sorry, Hijikata-san!”

“No, I should be the one apologizing, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“What are you doing here?” Otae asked, gently closing the door behind her. “I suppose you already know about what happened, huh.”

“Yes. I was at the hospital yesterday, actually. I just wanted to check on them. I’m not sure I like the idea of them being by themselves.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Hijikata-san.” Otae sighed. “I wish I could afford to take off work to be here for them, but...well, you know. I did bring them some food though. I mean, not _food_ \- everyone says my cooking is awful- but, some ingredients. Shin-chan can cook a bit. They won’t starve.”

“That’s good to hear.” Hijikata had actually been worried about that, but he didn’t say so out loud.

“They’re in there drawing up a schedule, of who’s going to sit in the hospital with him when” she said, smiling a little ruefully. “Setting aside time for things like walking Sadaharu and doing the dishes. I think they’re more responsible than we tend to give them credit for, you know?”

Hijikata nodded. “Maybe. I hope so, at least. They seem to be handling it well, considering.”

“Mmm.” Otae glanced back over her shoulder at the closed door, looking troubled. “Hijikata-san, I know you’re a busy man, and I have no right to ask this of you but...do you think you could, you know, take some time to spend with them every now and again? I think they need someone to depend on right now, and goodness knows that won’t be me. Just to make sure they’re coping ok. Just until Gin-san comes back.”

_‘It might kill him,’_ whispered the doctor’s voice in the back of Hijikata’s mind. _‘He might never wake up.’_

“Please?”

“Yes,” he heard himself say aloud. “Yes, of course, you’re right. They’re just kids. I mean, I don’t know how much I can do for them, but...I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Otae smiled up at him, looking almost as tired as he felt. “Thank you, Hijikata-san.”

“Of course.”

“I have to go get ready for work now,” she said, turning sideways so she could slip past him and down the stairs. “I guess I’ll see you around sometime soon. Thanks again!”

She raised a hand in farewell, and he returned the gesture without really thinking about it. Then she was back down on the street and he was left standing there alone, wondering why he had agreed to that so readily.

 

“There you are, Toshi!” Kondo said the moment Hijikata set foot in the Shinsengumi headquarters again. “Listen, do you have your part of the monthly report done yet? I have to turn it in to Matsuraida tomorrow.”

“Uh.” Hijikata blinked. “That was due today? Fuck...I’m sorry, Kondo-san, I don’t have it quite yet. But there’s just a bit left to do, I’ll have it for you by morning.”

“Hmm.” Kondo frowned, crossing his arms. “Alright. I hate to put more work on you, but this is really important.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to apologize. Where were you, anyway?”

“I was just checking in on Shinpachi and Kagura.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure they were doing ok. Y’know, with this whole fucked up coma situation going on.” Hijikata wearily shrugged out of his uniform jacket, hanging in on one of the many pegs near the door. “I’m gonna keep dropping in every now and again.”

“Toshi, I admire your altruism, but do you really think that’s the best idea?”

“Otae-san asked me to.”

“Oh.” Kondo’s concerned expression cleared, as if following Otae’s wishes were the most natural and obvious thing to do in the whole world. “Well, ok then. I’ll try to clear your schedule a little bit, starting next month. Give you a little more free time.”

“Can we afford to do that?”

“I think so, yeah. Just until Gintoki recovers.”

Hijikata felt another pang in his chest at Kondo’s words. A sensation he seemed to be becoming all too familiar with.

“Ok. Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Sure, ‘course.”

“Incidentally, Kondo-san, has there been any news about what could have done that to him?”

“Nope.” Kondo shrugged. “Not a thing. As far as we can tell, the most exciting thing to happen this week was that couple who tried to rob the bank on the main street.”

Hijikata shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense. I saw how bad he was hurt. That kind of fight should have left at least _some_ kind of evidence behind.”

“Well, we’re not giving up the search just yet. We’ll find it, Toshi. Whatever ‘it’ is. If we’re lucky, Gintoki’ll wake up soon and we’ll be able to get it out of him.”

“Yes sir,” Hijikata said quietly.

“Here’s hoping, eh? Alright, I’ll leave you alone now. Thanks for all your hard work, as usual.”

Kondo left, and Hijikata sat down at his desk, where the report was waiting for him. Upon review, he didn’t have as much of it done as he had first thought.

It looked like it was going to be another long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited to be sharing this fic with all of you, I really like it and I hope you guys are going to enjoy it too! There will be three chapters total, which I'll hopefully have up soon (college professors willing). Thanks for reading the first chapter, please let me know what you think so far : O


	2. Chapter 2

A week went by, and then another. Still the Shinsengumi could discover no trace of whatever it was that had put Gintoki in a coma. Eventually even Hijikata had to admit that their resources would be put to better use elsewhere.

Gintoki remained unconscious in the hospital. The doctors reported that, even though the cause was still a mystery, at least his body seemed to be reacting as a normal coma patient’s body would be expected to. They were doing their best for him, they said. Most of them held out hope that he would live and, one day, recover.

Kagura and Shinpachi believed that with a conviction that Hijikata found quite astonishing. They spent hours and hours in the little hospital room with Gintoki. They read, they watched the little tv in the corner, they ate, they talked with nurses and other patients. Hijikata knew it was hard on them, but they never let it show. They brought so much life and energy into that hospital room.

He didn’t have any idea what he was doing, trying to take care of them. But he kept at it. He owed the Yorozuya at least that much, he figured.

And he tried to stay hopeful that Gintoki would recover soon.

 

“Shinpachi,” Hijikata called, knocking on the apartment door. “You home? I’ve got something for you.”

He waited a moment, but there was no answer. Which was unusual. According to the schedule, Shinpachi should be here. He and Kagura usually followed that thing religiously.

He reached out to grab the door handle, only to pull quickly back as the sound of hurried footsteps let him know that someone was on the other side.

Sure enough, the door swung open and Shinpachi appeared in the doorway, looking a little harried.

“Ahhh, Hijikata-san! Um, hi, do you mind waiting out here for just a moment? We actually have a guest right now, so…”

“A guest? Who?”

“Oh, uh, no one! It’s just a...a travelling salesman, that’s all!”

“I’m not a travelling salesman,” yelled a familiar voice from further into the apartment. “I’m Katsura!”

Shinpachi’s face went white.

“Shinpachi-”

“No, Hijikata-san, hang on, let’s not do anything rash! No fighting in the house! Please don’t try to arrest him, he’s just-”

“I’m not going to arrest him. I just want to talk to him.”

Shinpachi frowned at him skeptically. “Really?”

“Really. I promise. Now would you let me in, please?”

“...Ok.”

Shinpachi reluctantly stood aside and let him enter the apartment. Hijikata hastily removed his boots and made his way down the hallway to the living room, Shinpachi following him anxiously.

Sure enough, he found Kotaro Katsura sitting on the couch, a cup of tea in one hand, a cautious but calm look on his face.

“Temporary truce,” Hijikata offered. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Hm.” Katsura put down his tea. “Everyone knows that this apartment is neutral ground. The Shinsengumi would be wise to adhere that rule, as well. What brings you here today, Hijikata?”

“Just...checking up on things. Same as yourself, I imagine.”

“That’s right.” Katsura looked past Hijikata, to where Shinpachi hovered behind him, glancing back and forth from one to the other. “Shinpachi-kun, why don’t you fetch the Vice Commander some tea.”

“But-”

“Shinpachi-kun.”

“...Alright.”

Shinpachi headed toward the kitchen, leaving Hijikata alone with Katsura.

“Do you know?” Hijikata asked without preamble, though making sure to keep his voice down. “What happened to put one of Edo’s strongest samurai in a coma? They’ve told you haven’t they?”

“Yes, I know. But if they haven’t told _you_ , then I’m not going to either.”

“Why the fuck not?!”

“Because I want to respect their wishes. Honestly, it’s probably better that way.”

Hijikata scowled, but decided not to press the point. “Fine. Fine. Whatever. Just, tell me that there’s not some thing, or someone, loose out there where they could hurt more people.”

“There’s plenty of horrible, dangerous stuff loose out there, Hijikata. But no, the particular thing you’re thinking of is dead and gone. I made sure of that. Trust me.”

“I’m not sure if I can.”

“I’ve never wanted to bring harm to any citizens. I’ve only ever wanted to protect the people of this nation. You should know that.”

“Government officials are people of this nation, too. You don’t get to pick and choose who falls under that description.”

Katsura sighed. “You and I are fundamentally different people. Best we just accept that and move on, because I don’t feel like having that argument now.”

“...Fine. Just, please don’t bring any of that shit near Shinpachi and Kagura, ok?”

“You have my word. No politics in this house.”

“Thank you.”

“Actually, I think I’m the one who should be thanking you.” Katsura stood and moved a little closer to Hijikata. “Gintoki is like a brother to me. More than anything I want to see him get better, and have a home to come back to when he does. I appreciate what you’re doing for the kids. I’m glad they have you to rely on.”

“Oh. Well, uh, yeah. They’re just kids. Someone has to take care of them, make sure they stay safe.”

Katsura smiled, sadly. “That rule wasn’t exactly in practice when I was growing up. I’m glad that, even with all that’s wrong with society nowadays, at least we got that part right.”

Hijikata nodded. “On that, at least, I think we can agree.”

At that moment, Shinpachi emerged from the kitchen with a teacup on a tray. “Ah, Katsura-san, are you leaving already?”

“Yes, I’m afraid I have other business to tend to today.” Katsura turned and smiled at Shinpachi, all traces of seriousness gone. “I’ll be back soon though, hopefully.”

“Ok. Be safe, Katsura-san.”

“Thank you, Shinpachi-kun. Hijikata, I hope our next meeting will be under such good circumstances.”

Hijikata fought the urge to say something mean or threatening. Neutral ground, neutral ground. “Yeah, sure.”

Katsura took his leave, and Shinpachi handed Hijikata the cup of tea. The warmth felt good in his hand.

“Thank you, Shinpachi.”

“Mhm.” Shinpachi frowned at Hijikata. “If you wanted me out of the room, you could have just said so.”

“Sorry. Next time.”

“Did you say you had something you wanted to give me?”

“Oh, right. Here,” Hijikata said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a thick wad of cash. “Take this. To help with medical expenses, or whatever else you need.”

Shinpachi stood frozen, staring at the money in Hijikata’s hand. “Hijikata-san...Thank you, really, but there’s no way I can accept this!”

“Don’t be stupid. I know how expensive hospital bills can get, especially for extended stays. Just take it, Shinpachi.”

“O-ok. Thank you.” Shinpachi gingerly reached out and took the money. “We’ll definitely pay you back sometime, Hijikata-san, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about that, it’s not important.”

“But-”

“Shinpachi. You’re sixteen. No one expects you to handle all this by yourself. Just focus on what’s important right now, ok?”

Shinpachi nodded, and gripped the money a little tighter. “Yes sir.”

Hijikata sighed. “Alright. Good. You know, you don’t have to be so formal all the time.”

“I know. But it’s a force of habit. Will you be staying for a bit?”

“Sorry, but I should be getting back to headquarters.” Hijikata quickly gulped down most of the tea, not wanting it to go to waste. Then he turned and started walking back towards the entrance hall. “I’ll be back soon. In the meantime, I expect you to put that money to good use.”

“Yes sir. I will. Thank you.”

“Sure thing. Well then, I’ll be go-”

“Um, Hijikata-san!”

He paused on his way out. “Yes?”

Shinpachi bit his lip, looking a little nervous. “Do you think you could maybe...come help me in the kitchen sometime?” he finished in a rush.

Hijikata turned back around. “The kitchen?”

“W-well, yeah. I, um, don’t really know how to cook very well. I can only make like three things. And I want to try other recipes, but I’m afraid to try and ruin it. Do you...think you could help, or…?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure. I could do that.”

“Really?”

“Sure, why not.” 

Hijikata hadn’t realized that Shinpachi had been bothered by that kind of thing. And he had been wanting to do what he could to make himself more approachable to the kids. This seemed like a good opportunity. 

“I can’t tonight, but maybe tomorrow?”

“That would be really great.” Shinpachi smiled tentatively. “Thanks.”

“You’re very welcome.”

 

“Kagura.”

“What.”

“Kagura, you’re causing a scene.”

“I am _not_.”

“If you weren’t, then I wouldn’t be here, would I? Someone called in a disturbance, Kagura. Please, just let that guy up already.”

“...Fine.”

Kagura lifted her foot from where she had planted it in the middle of some stranger’s chest, effectively pinning him to the ground. He immediately scrambled to his feet and ran the other way as fast as his feet would carry him.

Hijikata let him go. “Thank you. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“He started it,” Kagura muttered, crossing her arms and refusing to look at him. “I was just defending myself.”

“Kagura, you’re not in trouble.”

“I’m not?”

“No. No one was seriously hurt, so it’s fine.”

“Oh.” She looked up at him then, but kept her arms crossed protectively over her chest. “Are you...mad at me?”

Hijikata sighed. “No. I’m not mad. I am concerned, though. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. He didn’t touch me.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Hijikata went down to one knee, so as to be closer to her level. “I know you’re going through a tough time right now. And I want you to know that you can talk to me, about anything. Ok?”

Kagura nodded glumly.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I just miss Gin-chan,” she said quietly, tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. “I thought he’d be back by now.”

“He’s getting the best care that we can give him, Kagura. All we can do is wait.”

“I know. But….but what if he never does wake up? W-what if he’s really just, just gone?”

“I don’t have the answer to that,” Hijikata said carefully. “All I know for sure is this- he wouldn’t want to see you upset like this. He wouldn’t want you to getting into fights with strangers in the street. He would want you to stay the happy, caring girl that he knows you are. Isn’t that right?”

Kagura nodded, tears now running openly down her face. “Y-yeah. I’m really sorry, Hijikata-san…I didn’t mean to cause a d-disturbance...”

“It’s ok, Kagura.” Hijikata reached out and pulled her into a hug. She hugged him back, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging on tightly.

They stayed like that until her crying subsided. Hijikata felt kind of guilty. He hadn’t meant to make her cry.

“Feeling a little better now?”

“Yes. Sorry, Hijikata-san.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. And you don’t have to keep calling me that.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then, can I call you Toshi, like Kondo does?”

“If that’s what makes you feel more comfortable.”

Kagura gave him a watery smile. “Toshi, will you be at the apartment tonight?”

“Not tonight,” Hijikata said, standing back up. “But I will be tomorrow night. Shinpachi asked me to help out with dinner.”

“Oh, good! Can I help?”

“Sure. Cooking is a good skill to have. Make sure you help him pick out a good recipe when you get home.”

“I will. Thanks, Toshi.”

“You’re welcome. And Kagura...please, no more streetfights. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

 

“Make way, make way, hot plate coming through.”

Shinpachi hurried to clear a space on the table for Hijikata to set the plate down, while Kagura cheered happily.

“It smells really good, Toshi!”

“It really does. Thank you for helping, Hijikata-san.”

“You’re welcome.”

Hijikata sat down heavily in one of the dining room chairs and let the kids help themselves to the first servings of the food they’d prepared. Making dinner had turned out to be a much more exhausting experience than he had anticipated. He wasn’t that great of a cook himself, and what was on the plate certainly didn’t look like what had been in the recipe thumbnail, but hey, at least it seemed to be edible. Probably.

“Oh, I know what we need! Hang on Hijikata-san, I’ll go get the mayo.”

Ok, yeah, it’d be edible.

“So, you two think you’ll be able to recreate this on your own now?”

“Pro’ably,” Kagura said, with her mouth full. “Jus’ gotta make sure not to burn it again.”

“That was probably my fault,” Shinpachi said guiltily, returning from the kitchen with a bottle of mayonnaise for Hijikata. “I should have been paying better attention.”

“It’s ok, no one’s blaming you. Sit down and eat, before it gets cold.”

Eating with the Yorozuya turned out to be just as lively an event as eating with the rest of the Shinsengumi, despite their much smaller number. Kagura kept trying to steal food from other people’s plates. Shinpachi gestured with his chopsticks while talking and sometimes flung bits of food everywhere. Sadaharu kept orbiting the table, begging for scraps.

But Hijikata didn’t mind. In fact he kind of enjoyed it.

They were still sitting around the table long after the food was finished, just talking, when Hijikata’s phone started to ring.

“Hijikata,” he answered, standing up and wandering a few steps away. “Who’s this?”

“I’m calling about the coma patient, sir,” said a woman’s voice on the other end of the line. “Sakata Gintoki. You asked to be notified if there was any change in his condition.”

Hijikata froze in place, clutching the phone to his ear. “Yes...yes, I did. So there’s been a change?”

“There has, sir. He’s awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot of fun to write : ) I particularly enjoyed having the opportunity to put Katsura in there, because I love writing that idiot. I should probably do it more often, haha.
> 
> Thanks for reading chapter 2! Next time we'll get Gin back, so I hope you look forward to that!


	3. Chapter 3

Hijikata drove to the hospital, Kagura and Shinpachi yelling and bouncing around excitedly in the backseat the whole way there. The moment they were in the parking lot, the two of them hit the ground running. Hijikata didn’t try to stop them, even though he knew they’d probably be disturbing some of the other patients. He couldn’t have held them back even if he’d wanted to, he was pretty sure.

He made sure to stop by the registration desk and properly sign them all in before heading up to Gintoki’s room. The scene that greeted him there once he arrived was so vastly different from the first time he’d been up there, that he couldn’t help but smile.

Gintoki was sitting up in bed, looking frail and tired but grinning at the kids nonetheless. Shinpachi was wiping tears of relief out of his eyes. Kagura had thankfully managed to restrain herself from jumping on Gintoki, and had settled for holding his hand.

“Toshi,” she called when she saw him standing in the doorway, “Toshi, come here, come here. Look, the nurse said all his vitals are steady and normal again!”

“That’s good, that’s good,” Hijikata said, glancing at the machines next to the hospital bed. “Hey there, Yorozuya. Nice to see you back among the living again.”

“I never left,” Gintoki said. Though his voice was rough and rusty, Hijikata could still hear the sarcasm in it. “Just needed a nap, that’s all.”

“Gin-san, don’t joke about that kind of thing!”

“Alright, alright. Thanks for being here, I guess, Hijikata.”

“Sure.”

“Gin-chan, will you be able to come home now? Or do you still need time to get better?”

“I’m not sure. It’s been almost a month since I’ve had any chocolate, after all. My sugar levels are dangerously low.”

“Oh, I know where we can get some! Come on Shinpachi, help me steal some chocolate from the kitchen downstairs.”

“Ah, Kagura-chan, wait!”

Kagura sprinted out of the room, Shinpachi close behind her. Gintoki let out a long sigh and shook his head.

“A whole month, huh?”

“Yep.” Hijikata sat down in one of the chairs next to the bed. “They’ve been worried sick about you. None of the doctors even knew where to start with this mystery illness of yours.”

Gintoki frowned, looking concerned. “Listen man...they didn’t tell you, did they?”

“You mean about whatever it was that put you in a coma for a month? They did not. Not a single fucking thing.”

“Oh. Good.”

“It’s not good! This is the opposite of good! Stop teaching kids to withhold information from policemen!”

“Hey, it’s not like that! It’s for your own good!” Gintoki sighed again and leaned back against the bed’s headboard. “They’re good kids. This is just...an extenuating set of shitty circumstances.”

“You’re not going to tell me either.”

“Nope.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes. At this point, he hadn’t really expected much. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly, not that great. I’ve been laid up after fights before, but never for a whole month. Ah fuck, the doctors probably aren’t going to let me go like this…”

“Take your time. I’ll keep an eye on Shinpachi and Kagura.”

Gintoki blinked in surprise. “ _You?_ ”

“Yes, asshole, me. Who did you think drove them here in the first place?”

“Oh. Well, alright then. Thanks.”

“Sure. I’m gonna go try to find the doctor, alright? Stay here and rest up, and don’t let the kids be too loud when they get back.”

“I’ll do my best, Officer.”

Gintoki mock-saluted, and Hijikata rolled his eyes again.

“It’s good to have you back.”

 

“I can’t even begin to explain it,” one of the nurses later told Hijikata, sounding exasperated. “One moment there was some kind of foreign element in his body making him sick, and then it was just...gone. There’s hardly even a trace to show it was there in the first place. Some of my coworkers have been calling it a miracle and honestly? I’m inclined to agree with them.”

Gintoki stayed in the hospital another three days, recovering his strength. His month-long slumber had left him weak and shaky, but otherwise ok. When he was able to walk on his own again, and the doctors had run every test they could possibly think of, they sent him back home.

Hijikata continued to stop by the apartment often. Gintoki insisted he was fine, but Hijikata didn’t trust that. He didn’t usually stay long, but he made sure that the Yorozuya were all getting enough to eat and other basic things like that.

One night, after an extremely long and draining shift on foot patrol, Hijikata realized that he didn’t have his uniform jacket. He searched frantically for it for a few minutes before realizing that he must have left it the Yorozuya apartment. It was a mark of just how tired he was that he had managed to forget something so important.

Though it was well past midnight by then, he decided to go back for it. The sooner the jacket was back in his possession, the better, he thought. So he walked back, tiptoed up the stairs, and slipped quietly through the door.

The jacket was there, sure enough, draped over one of the dining room chairs. Hijikata went to reclaim it as quietly as he could.

“Hijikata?” a voice suddenly spoke up from behind him, giving him quite the scare. But when he turned around, it was just Gintoki, brushing strands of silver hair out of his eyes and yawning in his pyjamas.

“What’re you doing?”

“Forgot my jacket,” he said quietly, gesturing.

“Oh. Ok then.”

“What are _you_ doing? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

Gintoki shrugged. “Just having a little trouble sleeping. Was thinking about making some tea or something.”

“Chamomile with lemon and honey.”

“What?”

“Kondo-san’s remedy for nightmares. Chamomile tea with lemon and honey.”

“I never said-”

“Please. I’ve had my fair share of bad nights, too, you know. Come here, I’ll make you some.”

Gintoki scowled, but followed Hijikata to the kitchen. “I’m not even sure we have any of that stuff.”

“You do. I brought some over a little while ago for Shinpachi.”

“Oh. _Oh_.” Gintoki’s eyes widened as the full implication of that statement hit him. “I didn’t know.”

“You’re the whole reason he’s not sleeping well. You should talk to him about it.”

“I will. I wish he’d told me sooner.”

“Kids don’t talk about that kind of thing. I hope this doesn’t wake Kagura.”

“Don’t worry, it won’t, I promise.”

“Ok. Anyway, you have to look out for it on your own, cause they won’t talk to you about it. You have to be the one to bring it up.”

“How are you already better than I am at this?”

“I wouldn’t say that. I just...I know what it’s like.”

“Fair enough.”

They lapsed into silence while Hijikata finished preparing the tea.

“Smells good,” Gintoki said, blowing gently over the rim of the cup to cool it off a little.

“Hey, Yorozuya-”

“Gintoki.”

“...Gintoki. I think I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For the past month. Otae asked me to watch the kids, but, I kinda took it a little far. I don’t have any right to meddle in your life or question how you’re raising them. I think I’ve been trying to make this about me, and that’s not right. So, sorry.”

“Man, are you crazy? You have nothing to apologize for. You were just trying to help. It’s not about you, or me. It’s about them. Right?”

“...Right.”

“Right. So, I don’t see it as meddling, and neither do they. Don’t beat yourself up about it, Hijikata, you have literally nothing to worry about. Just don’t say ‘raising them’ like I’m some thirty-five year old house husband. I’m not _that_ old, not yet.”

“Sorry,” Hijikata said, smiling in spite of himself. “And, it’s Toshirou.”

“Alright.” Gintoki smiled back at him. “Well, Toshirou, are you staying the night, or what?”

“I have to go back to headquarters.”

“Dude, it’s the middle of the night. You’re basically asleep on your feet. Just stay here.”

“But-”

“I’ll get you some blankets and you can sleep on the spare futon. Or the couch, I guess, whatever. Go back to the Shinsengumi in the morning.”

Hijikata sighed. He really was tired.

“Ok.”

 

Several days went by after that, and Gintoki began to regain his usual strength. Still Hijikata kept going to the apartment. He didn’t even know why he was doing it anymore. Somehow there was always a reason to go back, and so he kept going.

This particular evening, the reason had to do with Shinpachi. Hijikata had let him borrow a book on sword techniques, and was here to get it back. But when he stepped inside- he had long since given up on knocking, having almost been hit by the door way too many times- he found the house deserted.

He wandered into the living room and stuck his head down the hall to the bathroom and Gintoki’s bedroom, but didn’t hear or see anyone, not even Sadaharu. Then he noticed that the door to the balcony was ajar.

“Hey, anybody out here?”

“Oh, hi Toshirou.”

Gintoki stood leaning against the railing, staring out at the cityscape in front of him, though he turned and smiled when Hijikata stepped through the door to join him on the balcony.

“What are you doing?”

“Just wanted some fresh air.” Gintoki inhaled deeply. “It’ll be fall before you know it.”

“It’s the beginning of summer.”

“I know. I like fall better.”

“You’re so weird.” Hijikata rested his forearms on the railing, bending slightly over and matching Gintoki’s posture. “Where is everybody?”

“Shinpachi’s out doing something with his fan club, and Kagura took Sadaharu to visit Soyo.”

“Are we sure it’s a good idea to let her hang around the princess?”

“Yeah, pretty sure. Mostly.”

“Comforting.”

“Oh, shut up. Let her have her fun.”

They stood in silence for a moment. A cool breeze wafted across the balcony, ruffling their hair.

“Gintoki,” Hijikata asked quietly, “why won’t you tell me what really happened to you?”

“‘Why’?”

“I know you won’t tell me everything. I’ve officially given up on that score. I just want to know why. You can give me at least that much, can’t you?”

“Hmm.” Gintoki’s brow furrowed in thought. “I guess...because it would put you in a really compromising position.”

“Me? Why?”

“Not just you. The Shinsengumi as a whole. You’d have to make a hard choice, and no matter what you picked you’d lose. You’d lose hard.”

“That bad, huh.”

“Yeah. Sorry. If I’d known it was bothering you this much, I would have told you sooner. Just trust me, it’s for your protection that I’m not telling you, not just cause I want to be a jerk.”

Hijikata nodded. “Ok. I trust you.”

“Good.”

The breeze blew through again, bringing the promise of a cold night with it. After another moment, Gintoki leaned over and rested his head on Hijikata’s shoulder. It was a casual, friendly gesture that definitely should not have made Hijikata’s heart skip a beat the way it did.

“You know those kids love you,” Gintoki said. “Any time we talk about doing something together, they always want to invite you, and they look forward to your next visit. They’d be devastated if anything happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“Never say never, Toshirou.”

“Fine. Nothing’s going to happen, unless I find out whatever it is you’re hiding from me.”

“Guess I’ll just have to keep the secret then.” Hijikata could hear the playful smile on Gintoki’s face, even if he couldn’t see it. “You’ve gone and sealed your own fate now. Taking this one to my grave.”

“Well. I guess I’ll just have to keep coming around, then, and wait for you to slip up and say something you shouldn’t.”

“I guess you will.”

 

“Toshi, look! Look! Look, Toshi, they have cotton candy!”

“I see it, I see it. We can swing by and get some later.”

“Can we go in the haunted house?”

“Absolutely the fuck not. That stupid attraction isn’t worth the entrance fee they charge for it.”

“Aw, come on!”

Edo was throwing its annual festival, and Shinpachi and Kagura had all but dragged Hijikata along. Not that he really minded. Attending the festival was far, far better than having to patrol the festival.

So, they’d put on their yukatas and headed out. Though it was still early, there were already thick crowds of people thronging through the streets, flocking to the food vendors, the festival game booths, and the attractions.

“Oh my god, _apple bobbing_ ,” Kagura squealed happily.

“Hey, woah there!” Hijikata hastily grabbed hold of her hand, stopping her from running off and out of sight into the middle of traffic.

“Bad idea, dude. She’s going to pull you behind her like a kite.”

“You, be quiet. Kagura, show some respect to the other pedestrians, ok? And stay close. We don’t want you getting lost.”

“Ok. Toshi, will you go bobbing for apples with me?”

“Maybe. Later. Let’s get some food first, hm? Go ahead and get that out of the way.”

“Do you think they’ll have funnel cake again this year?” Shinpachi asked excitedly.

“I think I see it, down over there. Damn, that’s a long line.”

“Well, I’m going to go get in it then. Kagura-chan, want to come with me?”

“Yeah! Gin-chan, Toshi, you guys go ahead and get the chocolate bananas, and we’ll come find you after we get the funnel cake.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

“Calm down, Toshirou, it’ll be fine. Meet up in front of the dart throwing game, ok?”

“Ok!”

Hijikata shook his head, watching the two kids dash off towards the line for funnel cake, which was starting to wrap itself around the corner. “Jeez, this place is a madhouse.”

“They’ll be fine, you worrywort. Come on, choco-bananas are this way.”

“Are they any good?”

“They’re better than good, they’re great. You’ve never had one?”

“Nope.”

“Well, we’ll have to fix that tonight.”

The two of them made their way down the sidewalk, chatting idly and looking around at all the festival booths, trying to decide if there was anything they wanted to visit later.

On their way back to meet with Shinpachi and Kagura, two little boys came running out of the crowd towards them. Both were wearing plastic masks that were clearly too big for them, and most likely making it hard for them to see where they were going. One of them banged smack into Gintoki, throwing him off balance.

“Watch out,” Hijikata said, hurriedly reaching out and grabbing Gintoki’s arm, steadying him. “You ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. Thanks.”

“You should be more careful.”

“Or what, you’ll treat me like you do Kagura?”

Hijikata grinned slyly and let go of Gintoki’s arm, instead taking his hand in his. “Yeah, maybe I will.”

“Asshole.”

Gintoki didn’t let go of Hijikata’s hand. In fact, he did the exact opposite; he intertwined their fingers and held on tight. Which was not what Hijikata had expected him to do.

“Better?”

“...Yeah.” His voice suddenly didn’t seem to be working all that well.

“Come on, let’s go find the others.”

Gintoki started moving again, dragging Hijikata along with him.

Hijikata supposed he could have just let go of his hand.

But he didn’t.

“Gintoki?”

“Yeah?”

“...Nothing. Just, thanks for letting me come along.”

Gintoki snorted, still smiling. “As if you had a choice. You’re basically one of us now.”

“I think I’d like that.”

“...Yeah, me too.”

Hijikata squeezed Gintoki’s hand gently, feeling the other return his grip reassuringly.

They walked on through the crowd, hand in hand, to where Kagura and Shinpachi were waiting for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually write romance between Gin and Hiji as a series of big, important moments wherein they're both forced to confront their past traumas and help each other face the prospect of finally moving on from them. But this kind of romance- the kind made up of little things, like smiling shyly while watching the other from across the room or staying up too late after a busy day just to talk to each other- it's just as good. A much more gradual, domestic thing, and one in which Shinpachi and Kagura play a big part, which is nice. I don't know if you can tell but this whole fic has been highly, highly self indulgent.
> 
> That's all for this fic, folks! Thank you so, so much for all your feedback, and for sticking with this story! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! <3


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